5 thoughts on “Just (take 2)

  1. Cool, I like the idea of online revision, I was thinking of something similar with ‘Now is the Hour’. I still like the third stanza though, the uncertain pallet streaking from the sky, but, as you said, if this can be used elsewhere and not just discarded then that is good. Without the third stanza I think the piece takes on a calmer tone, the calm before the storm.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s