A new poem – in need of a title

.

the pillow felt like a grill
and the band
down the street
was singing to the ocean,
fishing boats
bobbing along

her voice powered through
notes
boxing gloves on

we turned over
and it got hotter in the hotel
varnish on the shutters
snickered
and flies batted
their drowsy heads
against the glass

tomorrow we would need
to be awake
properly for Pompeii

to see the dogs
and the stone brothel,
the deep wagon-ruts
and do our best
to realise just how brutal
a volcano could be

but she kept singing
and our air-conditioner
had been missing

since check in
and my head was Crying
the Lot of 49 because a half-finished
copy sat beside
the semi-functional phone

and you weren’t sleeping either
but none of us
could bear to admit
it and so instead of talking
we lay there
and waited
for the mountains
to swallow up the last
of the music

scrape its bowl clean
with thunder
and hints of rain.

Interested in your thoughts – I can’t come up with a title for this one and I’m hoping your suggestions can help me out!

 

17 thoughts on “A new poem – in need of a title

  1. I like the flow and pace of your poem. It has a strong visual sensibility. As for a title, how about — Waiting for Mountains to Swallow the Beat? Or, A Voice with Boxing Gloves On.

    I hope you find a title.

    Shawn
    kshawnedgar.wordpress.com

  2. Great poem but titles are my worst suit, a few of my poems have only been published if I agreed to change the title! So my advice would be “untitled”, or “poem 14507”, or “Tourist Visions, Volcano Fears” (told you, not my strong suit!)

    • Hmmm…not silly but if the pondering as not yet solidified the title into stone and Ash?…might I suggest…Vesuvious Stirs…don’t ask me why as I don’t know but it put me in the mind set of tandoori…

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