also not exactly

our bus stops by the river
with banks steeped in yellow grass
and barbed wire

ants slip through the fence
to cover little road-kill corpses
like restless nets

I’m tapping my foot
and waiting for the university to appear
with its labyrinth of faces

but also not exactly unhappy

we wouldn’t meet for four more years
and at a different university altogether
but still
I think I thought about you then, imagined
myself smart and happy
awfully sure the two
went together

and I sat on the steps
of the hulking library over lunch
feeling footsteps cross my spine
like the spider of your touch.

5 thoughts on “also not exactly

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